Have you ever noticed we tend to identify in other people the behaviors we claim to dislike or disapprove of and yet exhibit ourselves? For example, have you ever complained about a complainer? Maybe criticized someone for not taking the very action you need to be taking? Except, of course, we have explanations and valid reasons for our behavior!
We tend to compare our behavior to someone else’s and conclude we aren’t as bad as her/him. The problem is we totally disregard our ineffective behaviors which actually proliferates our own destructiveness. After all, if ours aren’t as bad they don’t need tending to right? WRONG!
The question isn’t “How does my behavior compare to someone else’s?” The real question is, “Does this behavior (thought or action) serve to benefit me?” If yes, keep doing what you’re doing, if not an adjustment needs to be made.
We know repetition creates habits – beneficial or destructive. We often refuse to establish beneficial habits – we claim they’re too much work – actually they involve taking risks. Ironically, if we aren’t creating beneficial habits, destructive ones are being formed and honed for us. Just because we aren’t conscious of the process doesn’t say the process isn’t occurring. Nor does it say we aren’t experiencing the detrimental results!
For example, when I choose not to take responsibility for my life I choose to be unhappy with the life I’m creating. Did you catch the correlation? Just because you don’t take responsibility doesn’t say you don’t create your life. In many cases not taking a risk is the riskiest choice.
Lack of responsibility doesn’t change the results or outcomes experienced, rather only serves disempowerment associated with feelings of ineptness/helplessness, unhappiness, and doom. These feelings I’ve found to be the protagonists for the gremlin. “What if I make a mistake?”
Have you ever held yourself back for fear of making a mistake? Possibly the very one you needed to make to advance you to the next step? Right 23 “I have the right to make mistakes, including costly ones, and know that I am not a mistake or complete failure. I may be unsuccessful without being a failure or feel the need to eradicate myself off the face of the earth.”
The thought of making a mistake may be daunting, even down right scary, but successful people have demonstrated over and over again mistakes often pave the way to success.
Consider the following questions to pave your way to success:
“What is the worst that can happen?”
“If the worst happens will I survive? (Have you already survived worse?)
“How does the worst scenario compare to not taking action?”
Learn (make appropriate adjustments) from your mistakes because in general people regret not taking action more than taking action!