Volume 23

June 25, 2009

Welcome to "Karen's Korner!"

• Fact or Story?

Have you ever acted on what seemed to be a good idea only to not get your desired result? What thoughts and actions followed for you?

A few days ago I took action on what I believed to be a “good idea.” I even saw it happening in my mind’s eye!

Through an email, I requested to connect with someone I knew as an acquaintance. I provided a couple of options and was informed times stated would not work. Then I sent a reply inquiring when would be best for them to meet. No response. No big deal really. My interpretation however created a different scenario. Instead of focusing on empowerment I gave away my power (in a figurative sense).

The facts: I had an idea and acted on it. The person declined the request. Reply sent. No response. End of story.

My story: I had a good idea that didn’t evolve. How am I supposed to be effective when an idea I believe is good does not come to fruition? The refusal (notice the change in words) to meet is not in alignment with what I’ve experienced with this person face to face. This person is “blowing me off.” Grrr. Have I been snow balled thinking this was a nice person? Now what?

Am I the only one who’s ever made a saga out of simple facts? Who feels the stress?  The distortion impacts us, not them! Presuming I’m not the only one who’s acted in this manner . . .

The language used in the email to decline meeting is what tripped me up; not that the person wasn’t nice. And, let’s be clear, this is about my inner response to a situation in life, NOT about this person. I still think this is a wonderful person; which may or may not be important to them; either is okay.

My issue was I had just recently attended an education session where I was taught how to “nicely” tell people you’re not interested and move on. The language sounded gentle in the session. The verbiage in the email responding to my request to meet was almost verbatim and now on the receiving end it did not feel so kind.

Here’s what I learned (shall I say relearned):

1. The language taught sounded gentle from a delivery standpoint not necessarily from a receiving end. This reminds me to be considerate of all parties involved.

2. No response is a response. I just might not like the response.

3. Situations/ideas in life aren’t good or bad until we attach meaning. Perspective determines definition.

4. When situations don’t unfold as I desire, I have a choice. Create a story, replay it, let it take root, analyze . . . (you get the idea) – and experience the associated results – ineffectiveness and inner torment.  Or as Jack Canfield taught me, simply say “next” and move on!

What facts in your life have you created a “story” about? How is that serving you? What would your life look and feel like if you redefined the story back to the facts? How can you apply the above four learning points to your life?
 

• Inspiring Quotes

When we let somebody else decide what our reaction shall be, we are no longer free persons, whether we decide to agree or disagree.

- Sydney J. Harris

Eloquence is the art of saying things in such a way that those to whom we speak may listen to them with pleasure.

- Blaise Pascal

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

- Mother Teresa

• Want to move forward with the dreams of your life?

Click here and include contact info and best times to reach you.

“With the coaching you have provided me you helped me to realize that I have to understand and empower myself before I can motivate anyone else . . .that it was me that had to change first [instead] of trying to fix everyone else.”

Brenda Parsons
State Farm Agent

• Special Offer

• A Gift for You

Book Karen to speak for your organization or association and receive a free gift! Call 602-870-3652 or email Karen@karengridley.com for more details.

• Need articles for your newsletter?

Please feel free to use any of the information from this newsletter, or articles in previous newsletters

Click here to access archived newsletter articles. Please send us a copy. Karen

• Contact Info & Subscription Management

Please feel free to share this information with friends and colleagues. Karen

KMG Enterprises, LLC

P.O. Box 26927

Phoenix, AZ 85068

Phone: (602) 870-3652    

Fax: (602) 870-3653

Website: www.KarenGridley.com

Email: Karen@KarenGridley.com

Reminder: You are receiving this newsletter because you have purchased a product, heard me speak or met me at an event. You can unsubscribe at any time by following the instructions at the bottom of the page.

Your email will never be traded or sold. If you enjoy what you read, please forward to a friend.
Want to use this article in your e-zine or website? You can as long as you list Karen's name, website address and email address. Also, please send us a tear sheet or electronic copy.

Although we want to hear from you, PLEASE DO NOT REPLY to this email or send questions to this address. Simply direct your questions and correspondence to www.KarenGridley.com and contact us from there.