Volume 33

April 30, 2010

Welcome to "Karen's Korner!"

• What Determines How You Handle Life’s Challenges?

What are you doing to help yourself during challenging times? Is your response, “What can I do?”, or “Doing the best I can”? Are you doing the best you can? Sometimes I believe we are and sometimes this is a habitual response which prevents us from recognizing it’s an excuse. An excuse because it can be our way of letting ourselves off the hook and avoid taking full responsibility for our lives and our outcomes.

A number of my presentations recently have requested to include ways people can decrease their stress and improve the quality of their life. The primary way to accomplish this is to take greater responsibility for ourselves; basically improve our self-care.

The challenge with self-care is twofold. First, it has gotten a bad rap from those who have abused it as a guise to their selfishness. Keep in mind anything beneficial to the opposite extreme taints the value. Second, it has been deemed as “fluff” by hard core people who overlook tending to the intangible (inner work) as the means to obtaining the tangible (outer results).

Excellent self-care in my view encompasses a greater good concept. It is always implemented with gentleness and has a certain ease in the unfolding. That isn’t to say it is necessarily received in that manner. For example when you set a boundary or walk away from an abusive relationship (professionally or personally) the recipient of your boundary may be reactionary. However, that is ultimate self-care and in the greater good for all involved.

There are four main areas for consideration when focusing on self-care:

• Reclaim control of your life

• Allow other people the dignity of their life

• Recharge when life throws a curve ball

• Persist through adversity

Though each of these could be a topic all their own let’s look briefly at the areas for things you can do to help yourself. In addition there will be a key question to ask yourself to monitor how well you are doing in each area.

Things you can do to reclaim control of your life:

• Practice centered breathing technique

• Work with affirmations

Key question to monitor how well you are doing, “Does that thought, word or action serve me well?” If so, great, keep thinking, saying, or doing it. If not, change it!

Things you can do to allow other people the dignity of their life:

• Apply the concept live and let live. Lip service won’t work. You probably agree with me lip service isn’t enough without the application yet what do you do? How do you live? Are you living you’re life to your full potential? Or are you so consumed with what other people do and how they live?

• Let live says we allow people the dignity of their life. Dignity means we let others be who they are without judgment. This of course is easier said than done. When you’re busy monitoring other people’s lives, who’s living your life? In fact what’s really happening when we judge others is an attempt to degrade or prove them wrong to make ourselves feel better or prove ourselves right. This is like taking a drug with serious side effects – it temporarily alleviates one issue and causes harm in other aspects!!
  Key question to monitor how well you are doing, “How do I feel when someone is treating me in a manner different than how I prefer to be treated?” Strong word of caution here to be ware of justifications such as, “Well, I’m not the one who . . .” or “They deserve . . .”

Things you can do to recharge when life throws a curve ball:

• Remember it’s not WHAT happens, it’s HOW you respond to what happens

• Heighten your awareness by a commitment to daily self-development – mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually

Key question to monitor how well you are doing, “What can I think, say, or do that will help me at this moment?” Simply asking this question will shift the energy to a more beneficial and positive perspective.

Things you can do to persist through adversity:

• Recognize where you put your focus. What you focus on grows!

• Be of service – lend a helping hand – utilize your gifts (we all have them!) – practice spiritual principles

• Consider, “What if everything is Perfect?” (I’ve received a number of great stories to include in the book, remember to submit yours, click here)

Key question to monitor how well you’re doing, “What if my next miracle/success/relief is an inch away?”

How well are you handling the challenges in your life? It isn’t a question if challenges will show up rather when, how many and how will you respond. Your response is determined by your ability to practice excellent self-care. Start making improvements in your self-care and watch yourself improve how you move through challenges. Effective self-care won’t eliminate challenges, however it will prevent additional and unnecessary hardship from ineffectively managing the challenges you do face. What one small action could you take today to enhance your self-care?

• Inspiring Quotes

The virtue of all achievement is victory over oneself. Those who know this victory can never know defeat.

- A. J. Cronin

There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.

- Aldous Huxley

Somewhere in your make-up there lies sleeping the seed of achievement, which, if aroused and put into action, would carry you to heights such as you may never have hoped to attain.

- Napoleon Hill

• FREE Live Every Day Motivated, Successful and Happy Bonus   

• Look What’s New!

How can you feed your mind, body and soul in one weekend? How beneficial would it be for you to connect with other women along a similar journey? (Men, please consider someone you know who could benefit). What if you could find this all in one place – and have it be affordable? Now you can! The Franciscan Renewal Center is hosting a Women’s Conference May 7th-9th.

• Thank you . . . keep them coming!  

Thank you to everyone who sent a contribution for the “What if Everything is Perfect?” collection! Click here for details.  How do you include your story? Simple, send an email and feel free to invite others to participate as well!

• What if you could be the person you dream of being?  

The key is to get out of your own way. Your current thinking and habits are only good enough to get you where you are. If you’re satisfied with all areas of your life, great, keep doing what you’re doing. If however life seems to be passing you by faster than you’re achieving your dreams Click here< and include contact info and best times to reach you.

I have contemplated using a life coach for a couple of years and when I met you I knew I had found the right professional. . . . I needed a new direction . . . I was able to get clarity on the situation giving myself permission to move on, not only in my professional capacity, but also in a couple significant areas of my personal life. I came to terms with “how I was wired” and that certain desires are in my heart and life for a reason. Focus resulting in action came about because of this layered coaching process that we went through. . . . Life is an unknown, but I had the benefit of good coaching that taught me to be open and take in the realization that how we respond and move forward is the part that is in our control.
Thank you for your professionalism – you made a positive impact on my life.
Jodi Rooney
Administrator
Prescott Valley, AZ

• A Gift for YouYou  

Book Karen to speak for your organization or association and receive a free gift! Call 602-870-3652 or email Karen@karengridley.com for more details.

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