Have you ever acted on what seemed to be a good idea only to not get your desired result? What thoughts and actions followed for you?
A few days ago I took action on what I believed to be a “good idea.” I even saw it happening in my mind’s eye!
Through an email, I requested to connect with someone I knew as an acquaintance. I provided a couple of options and was informed times stated would not work. Then I sent a reply inquiring when would be best for them to meet. No response. No big deal really. My interpretation however created a different scenario. Instead of focusing on empowerment I gave away my power (in a figurative sense).
The facts: I had an idea and acted on it. The person declined the request. Reply sent. No response. End of story.
My story: I had a good idea that didn’t evolve. How am I supposed to be effective when an idea I believe is good does not come to fruition? The refusal (notice the change in words) to meet is not in alignment with what I’ve experienced with this person face to face. This person is “blowing me off.” Grrr. Have I been snow balled thinking this was a nice person? Now what?
Am I the only one who’s ever made a saga out of simple facts? Who feels the stress? The distortion impacts us, not them! Presuming I’m not the only one who’s acted in this manner . . .
The language used in the email to decline meeting is what tripped me up; not that the person wasn’t nice. And, let’s be clear, this is about my inner response to a situation in life, NOT about this person. I still think this is a wonderful person; which may or may not be important to them; either is okay.
My issue was I had just recently attended an education session where I was taught how to “nicely” tell people you’re not interested and move on. The language sounded gentle in the session. The verbiage in the email responding to my request to meet was almost verbatim and now on the receiving end it did not feel so kind.
Here’s what I learned (shall I say relearned):
- The language taught sounded gentle from a delivery standpoint not necessarily from a receiving end. This reminds me to be considerate of all parties involved.
- No response is a response. I just might not like the response.
- Situations/ideas in life aren’t good or bad until we attach meaning. Perspective determines definition.
- When situations don’t unfold as I desire, I have a choice. Create a story, replay it, let it take root, analyze . . . (you get the idea) – and experience the associated results – ineffectiveness and inner torment. Or as Jack Canfield taught me, simply say “next” and move on!
What facts in your life have you created a “story” about? How is that serving you? What would your life look and feel like if you redefined the story back to the facts? How can you apply the above four learning points to your life?