How do you respond to disappointment in your life? The answer has determined your today and is shaping your tomorrow. It’s one thing to read the previous statement and agree. And it’s a whole other level to apply the concept.
Disappointments show up in all aspects in life. Currently, if you are a college basketball fan you know the NCAA tournament is in progress. There are a number of surprises that equate to disappointments for fans, players and coaches. You may perceive this as trivial or insignificant. Yet to the people involved it is significant.
This is the same in our life and our business. When it impacts us, it’s significant and we want (almost demand) others to understand. When, however, it falls in our insignificant, unimportant or unrelated category, we think others ought to “get over it” or “deal with it” and move on.
Another very real area for many people today is budget cuts and impacts to jobs. Yes, I agree there are challenges out there. Once again we have to ask ourselves where we are putting our focus. The bottom line is that there are a number of people and organizations at minimum, surviving and in many cases thriving. What’s the difference? The mind set. The mindset is what determines what follows.
In life, it isn’t what happens; it’s how we respond to what happens. Jack Canfield simply says “Next”. Loral Langemeier says, “So what, now what?” Neither of them, I believe, is attempting to be cruel. To achieve what we desire we must move forward and to do that we have to look forward. As obvious as that may sound how often do we find ourselves acting otherwise?
Instead, we replay the disappointment mentally over and over. And we verbally recount our challenges to anyone and everyone who will listen. This is only reinforcing our disappointment. Somehow there’s a distorted interpretation that this will help us move on. Have you noticed when you replay or recount your disappointment the same feelings you wish would improve stir up again?
How we respond is a choice. Many times however, it feels as if it isn’t because automatic behavior has kicked in. Anything we repeat with practice, beneficial or non-beneficial, becomes automatic and therefore habit. This is a key concept behind changing any habit. One must persist long enough to replace the previously ingrained pattern. Until we recognize the pattern though and acknowledge we’re making a choice, we create excuses. With excuses nothing will change. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
The disappointments in life are real. And when they occur, we say we want to feel better yet we exhibit behavior contrary to our claim. Somehow there seems to be a belief that to look beyond the disappointment condones inappropriate behavior or negates impact to us and our feelings. In the words of Dr Phil, “How is that working for you?” In other words, how does that belief serve you?
If we really want to achieve our claim; to feel better, to be more effective, or whatever you’re claim; we must align with the claim. To do this we must often respond in a manner that seems difficult, illogical and uncustomary. This is a direct application of Right 21.
Adopting new thinking seems to be one of the scariest and most difficult hurdles for people to conquer. However, when we finally get the courage to do so, we shift from disempowerment to empowerment. Only from this place can we move forward and achieve what we claim is important to us.
What disappointment is holding you back from creating the tomorrow you desire? What is the cost of staying connected to it? What will it take for you to tackle that hurdle? What one small thought or action could you take at this moment to begin the shift?